Am lost again!

...as the title goes, m lost again.. in the midst of non stop flight of thoughts, hoping and jumping moving all around me like "Blubber". But for a change m not feeling low today..I feel enthusiastic...I have too many productive plans, too many projects and too little time. I m feeling excited think about them..but deep in my heart I know they might be worthless & simple waste of time. The moment the negatives stikes my mind, I feel, am I deceiving myself with these momentary happiness?? I am suppose to do sumthing big...not in the worldly way, but big in its own sense of providing satisfaction!! I belief my heart and soul lies in something which am yet to find...I feel its veiled with mist of time and I just need to keep walking, to the other side of this valley to feel the yellow bright sky!!

I get worried, when I think if I am in the right track in my voyage of searching contenment or I am simply chasing a mirage...but again sometimesI do feel some kinda vibes, may be my inner soul/ my unconsious state of mind is trying to communicate with me. I find myself in a situation similar to Santiago ( Alchemist).

Under this calm composed expression of my face, I know how unrest my mind becomes when I pass through such phases.

May be I have started loving these mind churning episodes of my life....I love when I introspect and look back into things..and find how co related the present and past is........it gives me inner light and a better foresight!

I think its time I understand.....executing a well sketched plan is not my cuppa tea! I better be happy experiencing the depth of the sea than standing in the shore and anticipating.