Phew!

I have walked a long way....and I just realised its a one way road with no u-turns! Left home in 2000, in search of truth n knowledge of the world(not text). Naah! not influenced from Buddhism, it must b feeling euphemistic..may be..but thats what is true. I wanted to be on my own, self dependent and confident and not insecured !...I wanted to peep beyond the boundaries of my over protective joint family, rules, traditions, dogmatism. Wanted to know how required they are? Does the world outside have the same ethics we follow, or different or no ethics at all? Are the values really valuable that our elders are hell bent on imposing on us........Does the ppl outside really can survive without these? Don't they feel Godless without all these, some meaningful some nonsense instructions which is being followed from generations, the so called "amader barir niyom, erom e korte hoy..." and so on.

I always thought, that come what may, the way of returning back is always there for me..........but now I understand...I can never go back.....in search of knowledge..my rules, my values, my perspective have changed...for good? or bad?...only time will say......

That dominant rebel in me has taken its shape........and now it wants experiment and evidence to believe anything and everything. It seeks logic, rationality to be convinced. It keeps challenging anything and everything related to my life back 2000.

I still would like to go back...but it will disrupt the lives of the ppl there associated with me....and my peace of mind as well.......they aren't prepared to think beyond what they have been taught all these years.....They are happy accepting anything wrong without questioning, as this is what all there fore fathers have been doing!....Logic and science is something very bookish for them...without any practical application.Unfortunately, these conservative rules, instructions are mostly for the women, of the women and surprisingly practised by the women!!